Rambling
by Nari-sama
Summary: Suzaku is trapped behind enemy lines, why can no one see this? He continued to fight even when they locked in him in their white prison where Zero's spies are watching from every corner. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Well well I've finally finished chapter 1 but I finally got what I wanted with this...it's a little weird I admit but it's an idea I've been mauling over for awhile now and thought it sounded awesome! Anyway I just want to know what you folks think before I continue with it ok? Enjoy Crazy!Suzaku  
**

**Disclaimer: **Nope - don't own Code Geass!

**Rambling**  
Chapter 1 Psychosis

The 'nurses' whispered...they always did, whispering their filthy lies.

Spies...all of them...Zero's little whores!

Suzaku kept his eyes covered as he stared through his fringe, his face resting against his knees and his arms wrapped around himself, from his chair in the corner of the white room...everything so disgustingly white!

The camera had yet to make another survey of his side of the common area so he waited with baited breath for a window to get back to the base.

"Mister Kururugi you haven't taken your medication" one of the 'nurses' asked "We can't let you go if you don't take it, you know that" the mind slave ordered him.

Suzaku growled, how dare these bitches fucking order him around like a child. She grabbed his arm along another minion trying to pry him open "Come on Suzaku just swallow them and then you can go see Doctor Brittania" she tried to coerce him with lies, his dear Euphie was dead he'd seen it happen with his own eyes that fucking bastard Zero had killed her, his beautiful princess...the one person he'd ever loved or could trust apart from his fellow Knights of the Round to back him up in his fight against the Black Knights.

No! They wouldn't take him alive...he would live that's for sure that damn Geass put in him by Zero forcing him to survive when all he wanted to do was escape the all this pain.

"Milly! we'll have to sedate him!" the dark haired 'woman' advised her colleague, he knew what happen next...they'd have the orderlies hold him down and then stick him with their needles filled with poison. He had to get away get back to Gino, the safety of the base and the blonde boy's warm bed where he could hide where the enemy sensors couldn't pick him up.

"Hold him still!" a doctor yelled as the pointed tip of a syringe plunged into the Knight of Seven's bicep and the poison started coarse through his veins steadily towards his heart and brain. Their magic made him drowsy, Suzaku's mind falling quickly into the darkness and he slumpt forward against them all the while he still fought against the traitors.

**TBC**


	2. Escapism

**Hi folks finally chapter 2 is here! Yay!**

**Thanks Twillightfairy for the review. This chapter we change POV's...Gino is freaking funny! O_o**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Code Geass it would be in a 4am time slot and X rated...mainly because of just Suzaku!**

**Rambling**  
Chapter 2 Escapism

Lelouch sighed tiredly, his wife C.C was coming back from France the next day.

"Awww Lulu you're so quiet tonight!" Shirley asked resting her head on his pale chest. Lelouch hated when she was like this, for the last month a general apathy had settled over their 'relationship', as she tended to label their tryst.

"I have a new patient tomorrow I'm just worried, the patients at that facility...they have a tendency to fixate on members of the staff and assimilate them in their delusions" he explained part of what he was thinking.

"Oh okay but Doctor Asplund will be there supervising won't he?" she said rubbing her small hand down his abdomen.

"Yes but I highly doubt Lloyd will hang around when I'm in a session" Lelouch lied expertly...really as if he'd ever tell the ginger haired woman his inner most thoughts. He tilted his head back onto the soft pillow his raven hair fanning out around his ears and just closed his purple eyes trying to go to sleep without having to continue this inane conversation with Shirley; a person who in Lelouch's opinion really wasn't of any importance.

**&&&**

Gino stretched out on Suzaku's bed, his roommate had yet to come back after the blonde had seen him be sedated and dragged away by the orderlies much to Gino's annoyance.

He snuggled into the now cold sheets inhaling the Japanese teen's scent, the sweat laden aroma turned him on more with every passing minute and his hand snaked down into white pajama pants.

A sudden flash of light near the door caught his eye.

"Anya...what the hell are you doing?" he asked her, annoyed that he'd been interrupted during his second favourite activity of the day.

'Recording' she signed back with her free hand, the other fiddling with the small camera the doctor's had given to her as part of her treatment.

"Well don't ok...fuck can't I get any privacy in this place..." he mumbled and sighed as he ran his long fingers through his locks "With you people around all the time how will I ever get time alone with my dear Suzaku-chan!" he exclaimed sadly.

'Moron...' she replied snapping more pictures for her diary 'I hope Suzaku hears you say that one day and kills you in your sleep' Anya smile wistfully at the thought her pink curls falling into her blank eyes as she stared at the dull black linoleum floor and left the room.

Gino smiled to himself not having seen what she'd said and got back to what he'd been trying to do.

'I refuse to be beaten by a memory' he thought cheerfully 'Suzaku I will erase all traces of _her_ from you'

**TBC**


	3. Reflections

Thanks for the reviews everyone! ^_^

Now we're back to Suzaku! YAY and I introduce Kallen into it lol

Yes people Gino is a pervert! He's my favourite to write apart from Suzaku-chan...yep I put in a short flashback.

**Disclaimer:** Suzaku would have so had a Geass power lol anyway I don't own it so poor Suza-chan is stuck being a Wired! awww...

**Rambling**  
Chapter 3 Reflections

Kallen paced back and forth in the waiting room before she sat down on one of the extremely uncomfortable chairs.

She'd rushed over to the hospital after receiving an urgent phone call about her cousin.

Doctor Asplund had yet to come out and it was only increasing her worry about what could have possibly happened to Suzaku.

Kallen ran her hand through her dark pink hair roughly in her exasperation. She didn't trust that bastard Asplund, she would have much rather had Doctor Chawla treating him but unfortunately their uncle Kyoshiro had Enduring Power of Guardianship...for now at least. Kallen wouldn't just give on Suzaku, she'd promised to his mother, Byakko Kouzuki, as the woman was dying to look after him for her.

"Ah! Miss Stradtfeld so nice to meet you again, is Mr Tohdoh not coming in?" asked jovially as he walked though the door.

"It's Kouzuki and no he isn't, what happened to Suzaku?" she asked, full of frustration at not being told anything.

"Now now he just fine, he just had a relapse...he had to be sedated there was an incident in the common area, refused to take his medication and had to be restrained to prevent any injury" he explained with that sickening smile plastered across his pale face, how she just wanted to make that smug look disappear...preferably with her fist to his jaw.

"But he's been getting better these last couple of months, Suzaku had finally stopped talking about Dr. Britannia!" Kallen exclaimed as her hands clenched gripping on the denim of her black jeans.

"Well it was probably because there's another working here now that dear Euphemia is gone and will be taking over the day to day treatment for him, the mere mention of the name probably caused him to think about her again, if he's medicated it seems as long as he's kept preoccupied the patient's fine" he stated thoughtfully.

"Suzaku isn't just a patient he's a person he needs to be treated like one bastard!" she yelled angrily as she pushed past him.

"Ah! Yes you can go see him!Don't be too long okay!" he called out waving happily, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

She ran down the corridor to the ward and rushed over to her cousin's bedside.

"Suzaku are you alright" Kallen asked stroking his wavy brown hair.

"Kallen...you shouldn't be here...he can see you" Suzaku gasped struggling against the padded cuffs that locked him to the gurney.

"Who's here Suzaku?" she questioned looking around the small curtained off area his bed was.

"...Zero...you can't let him know...he'll kill you just like he...killed Euphie!" he cried as he continued in his vain attempt to escape.

Zero! It was a much bigger problem than she'd been lead to believe, her jaw clenched, if Zero was out than Suzaku would only get worse if his depression spiraled back to mania again.

"It was all my fault..." he whispered.

"No it wasn't Euphie was killed in bank robbery how is that your fault?" Kallen said trying to comfort him, sometimes even she didn't understand his way of thinking.

"I had Zero, I could've killed him but I let him slip away...I could've stopped him...it's all my fault...I'm a murderer!" Suzaku choked out, tears slowly slid down his cheeks.

"Stop it! You're not a murderer you had nothing to do that no matter what that fucking bastard said I know you'd never hurt anyone, unless you absolutely had to of course you didn't have your own free will at the time" she exclaimed and poked him in the stomach trying to pull him out of his suicidal thoughts.

_'Free will'_ he thought, his green eyes scrunched up in concentration _'where...I've heard that before...Geass...'_ the word exploded into his mind out of nowhere.

The dark dressed man in the corner held his index finger to his mask.

"Cover your eyes...have to cover eyes...mustn't let him look in your eyes" Suzaku muttered, chanting over and over again.

"I'm sorry Suzaku, I'm so sorry" Kallen whispered into his ear not knowing if he was still with her and leaned over his thin body holding him in the closest thing to a hug she could give him, he'd been her best friend for as long as she could remember and she couldn't even distract him from the hallucinations for a couple of minutes._'Goddamn it'_ she thought mentally berating herself, she just wanted him back home with her like they used to be before all this happened.

**&&&**

Suzaku had been dreaming...god he really hated dreaming...it was always the same nightmare over and over again.**  
**

_Someone poked him hard in the ribs. _

_Suzaku had dosed off for a bit in class resting his head on his arms... he hadn't been getting much sleep lately._

_"Psst...wake up moron" the person sitting next to him had hissed and poked him again, this time with more force._

_"Ow" he gasped "Kallen what the hell was that for" he asked leaning his head on his hand tiredly and smiled._

_"Suzaku stop that, you know how much that pisses me off" the pink haired girl whispered back and poked him in the forehead playfully._

_"Yeah that's why I do it" Suzaku replied smirking cheerfully._

_"How long is this going to go on for Su you're hardly sleeping or eating for that matter, stop pretending you're fine damn it" Kallen argued shaking her head._

_Brnnnng _

_The lunch bell sounded loudly.  
_

_"There's nothing wrong" he reassured her as he stood up from his seat, throwing his bag over his shoulder and started walking out of class only to bump into someone in front of him "Oops sorry please excuse me" Suzaku apologized to the older boy and tried to help him up off the ground._

_"Don't touch me you murderer!" He yelled slapping Suzaku's hand away from him violently._

Suddenly he woke up his lungs gasping for air, panic making his chest constrict and he sat up straight in bed the traitorous bastards had released him from their grasp a couple of hours ago after forcing their poison down his throat straight after his dear cousin's visit.

He hadn't wanted to take it but they had threaten to use the Refrain on him if he didn't.

Shaken as he was, Suzaku was hardly surprised when a pair of arms snaked around his narrow waist and pulled him back up against their warm body.

"Gino..." he said wearily "It's past lights out what're...you doing here?" Suzaku ran his fingers over his temples trying to message the pain away.

"I had to see you Suzaku-chan you've been gone a whole day! Don't you know how much I've missed you" The blonde whispered into his ear and ran his hands up and down Suzaku's hips and kissing along his neck .

"I know you do just make it quick" he replied closing his eyes and laid down tiredly.

**TBC**


	4. Freudian Slip

**Hiya folks yep this is very quick! I did Fail!YAOI lol...ahhh Schneizel is so fun to write when he's against Lelouch, actually all the bastard characters are fun to write especially Rolo...come on it's a mental hospital like I wouldn't make him a patient heheheh**

**I tried to make this like the worst institution you could think of, while still looking outwardly top notch professional facility for example it's clean and there's good functioning medical equipment etc.  
**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter!  
**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own...really who in their right mind want's to own Rolo!

**Rambling**  
Chapter 4 Freudian Slip

Gino thrust into him, a sharp pain in arse that slowly traveled along his spine.

He had no delusions that Gino loved him, he was just trying to relieve his own pain. It hurt...oh god it hurt...a lot but Suzaku believed that he deserved the pain; and anyway sometimes he even enjoyed it.

Suzaku stared with blank eyes, he had just started to feel the full effect of his medication now that he was awake. This was why he hated taking it...that numb sensation that made it feel like your brain was wrapped in cotton wool.

It wasn't like it was rape, he let Gino do this after all even if made him want to stab himself in the throat the next day when the pain multiplied with every limp or couldn't even get out of bed.

If he didn't allow it then it just wouldn't happen...or at least that's what he told himself.

This was war and sometimes sacrifices had to be made.

But for now he would lay there and take it thinking of ways to explain away the bite marks on his neck or the small pool of blood and cum that had soaked into the sheets while he stared upwards counted the number of small cracks forming on the tiled ceiling of his room. There wasn't really that much to worry about he would heal quickly just like all the other times Gino had slept over.

**&&&**

Lelouch had been stuck in the narrow waiting room for half an hour and if there was one thing he hated other than his father than it was waiting for something when he didn't have to.

He sighed, he'd had an appointment to the see the director of the hospital but so far his secretary Kanon was stopping him from going in even though Lelouch knew Schneizel wasn't busy at the time, 'Bastard...he's the one who scheduled the meeting...what is he playing at?' he thought as he tried not to show any outward signs of worry.

A light above the doorway blinked red.

"You may see Director Britannia now" Kanon stated waving him through.

'Finally!' he thought as he walked into Schneizel's extravagantly decorated office.

"Ah, Lelouch you came" the older man said with a smirk on his face, his cold blue eyes staring up at Lelouch from where he was sitting behind his large wooden desk which Lelouch mentally compared to the size of his ego.

"Yes and you knew I was out there, I don't like being messed with Schneizel what do you want?" he stated calmly while he tried to keep his temper in check.

"As of this next week you will be transferring here full time" Schneizel replied "I've already taken the liberty of informing the Director of Damocles" and laced his fingers together, resting his chin on them.

"You say this like I have no choice in the matter... Cornelia would have never agreed to this without asking me first! When I agreed to marry C.C, father said he'd stop trying to meddle in my affairs" Lelouch said sternly his hands clenched at his sides.

"I say it like that because it's true, you have no choice Lelouch if we choose to you'd never work in another care facility ever again but then...where would that leave your dear Nunally hmm?" he threatened "You start work on Monday you'll be very welcome here at Avalon I know for one that Doctor Asplund is quite enthusiastic about you working along side him, if that is all good day".

Lelouch just walked out hurriedly almost slamming the door but he wouldn't give that bastard the satisfaction of seeing him loose his cool.

Quickly he continued on until he found an unoccupied restroom.

"THAT FUCKING BASTARD!" he screamed as he punched his fist hard against the plaster wall repeated as he released his anger in private "How dare try to threaten me like that...and using Nunally!" he growled running his hand through his hair and slip down to the floor in exhaustion.

**&&&**

Rolo watched the brunette teen from across the common room, he appeared normal enough he was pretty but not overtly feminine and strangely enough he had beautiful green eyes even though he was obviously Asian.

He rested his head on the shoulder of his orange haired friend, his violet eyes ran over Suzaku's lithe body hungrily and Rolo knew Luciano's were as well.

"You like him too Ro" Luciano asked smiling sadistically and his tongue ran over his lips.

"Please do not call me that again or I will be forced to remove one of your kidneys and yes I do appreciate his pleasing physical traits" he stated monotonously.

"Heh like you could ever get the best of me Rololo-chan" the older boy joked and bared his teeth only to cringe in pain as Rolo gripped his forearm, his finger nails digging deep into his skin and Luciano was sure his wrist was broken.

"I warned you to not call me stupid nicknames Luciano" Rolo replied calmly as he released his grip.

He walked over to Suzaku, openly leering at him. Suzaku just glared up at him from where he sat in his arm chair and tried to return to his surveying of the common room.

"Move, you're blocking my view" he stated as he tried to look around him.

"Could I please have sexual intercourse with you?" Rolo asked .

"What!" Suzaku exclaimed as he stood up angrily "What the hell did you say?" he questioned as he tried not to just kick the younger boy's head through the nearest wall _'Just calm down Suzaku if you get into a fight the enemy won't hesitate to use the Refrain on you this time' _he thought.

"I asked if I could have sex with you? I have observed that you already engage in those activities with Gino Weinberg, correct" he repeated his request.

"I know what you asked and the answer is no, so leave now before I leave you to those traitorous bastards for such daring to ask something so fucking moronic" Suzaku threatened him.

Rolo moved closer to him leaving only a few centimetres between them "I understand your reluctance though you still have don't given a valid argument against it" he grabbed onto Suzaku's hand possessively.

"I don't choose to did I do it for the success of the mission now" he answered as gripped Rolo's hand back making him visably wince as he felt his metacarpals fracture under the pressure before he let go and walked over towards the art therapy room.

"Wow finally someone scarier than you Rollie..." Luciano laughed until Rolo poked him in his arm "ah! fuck what was that for?" he glared at his so called friend.

"I told you I warned you, do not make me go through with my promise" he stated while he held his hand close to his chest examining it for injury.

"Don't you mean threat?" he looked confused while he wondered how hard it would be to trick some pain killers out of Nina without a prescription.

"No, it is definitely a promise..." Rolo replied wistfully still thinking about Suzaku, his actions had only made him want him more.

**TBC**


	5. Dwelling

**Okay thanks for all the heart warming reviews! **

**Yes Mithluin, Suzaku is very pretty...so pretty I dream making him cross dress lol!  
**

**Anyway just so you all know, NO! Suzaku will never be ****with Rolo**** yep never gonna happen.  
**

** Gah! I didn't even like him in the anime he was so annoying...  
**

**Disclaimer: **Don't own and never will...I will just be satisfied with admiring Suzaku from afar

**Rambling**  
Chapter 5 Dwelling

Suzaku liked this room it was sunny and the walls were painted in warm colours, each wall painted a different colour one pink, pastel blue and green... it was a internal decorators nightmare but it was strangely pleasant with big bay windows covering one wall. So different from the blank repressive whiteness of the rest of the hospital.

"Hello Suzaku nice to see you again, how was your day?" Clovis the art therapist asked cheerily and wiped his paint covered hands on his smock.

"As well as could be expected, my prince" he replied politely as he bowed to the blonde man.

"Ah...Suzaku always so formal and polite, that's why your my favourite patient!" Clovis said smiling.

Suzaku didn't reply just nodded and gathered his utensils, he'd been working on the same piece for the last five weeks...a large painting of Euphie dressed in a light pink gown made of silk.

Clovis understood that Suzaku was still grieving over her and anyway even if it did re-enforce his delusion it was a hell of a lot healthier than the pieces he'd been doing before canvases painted black with splatters of crimson all over them.

Suzaku like to paint...he didn't think about anything expect the brush strokes and what colour goes where he could get lost in the painting if he chose to instead of doing what he did every other waking moment of his life which was formulate plans to thwart Zero.

**&&&**

Lelouch laid down on his leather sofa as soon as he arrived home. Ever since he'd had that meeting with Schneizel the memories of his mother had played on his mind. It wasn't that he didn't want to remember her but he knew as a psychiatrist that it wasn't healthy to dwell on the past and unfortunately it was never the happier memories that popped up.

_Lelouch peered outside with one eye closed as he watched through the small crack in the opened door._

_"Let me go! I'm leaving Charles and there's nothing you can do to stop me you bastard!" she screamed at him even as he towered over her and grabbed her arm pulling her closer furiously, his large face red with anger and mortification that any of **his** wives would runaway from him and even dare take **his** children with them._

_"You're not going anywhere! How dare you try to take MY children away from me bitch!" he growled as he slapped Marianne hard across her face pushing her up against the wall of his mansion "You belong to ME! Everything you ever accomplished, everything you are now is because of ME! Damn it you'd still be stripping in San Diego __it if it wasn't for me! I'll teach you what happens to whores who try to screw me over"._

_Marianne screamed, tears spilling from her lavender eyes, she stared over at the wardrobe where she knew Lelouch had hid as soon as his father had stormed in and she silently begged him to get out of the room while Charles was distracted. _

_Lelouch just hugged the two year old Nunally close to his chest and whispered lies about how it would all be okay._

_He had trembled and tried to stay calm as he kept his hands over his little sister's ears in a vain attempt to protect her from the truth, even at the age of ten he had tried to hide the dark truth about their family from Nunally and try to keep her innocent unlike the rest of them._

_They had stayed there all night staying as quiet as a mouse and barely even dared to breathe. It was five o'clock in the morning before Lelouch slowly opened the door and peered out fearfully as he still kept a tight hold on his sister._

_"Mom...?" he had whispered and looked around for any sign their father was near bye, trying to ignore the smears of blood spattered across the walls.  
_

_"Urgh..." he heard a moan from near the bed. Marianne groaned in pain on the floor covered in bruises and a gash cut across her pale forehead, blood running into her eyes. Slowly she pulled herself up onto the large bed her hands covering her face as she silently cried and tears spilled through her fingers "Lelouch...please don't look...don't look...please son don't look at me" she cantered over and over not wanting him to see her...her who was normally so strong crumble from the pain her own husband had inflicted upon her._

_Though her resolve to escape was even stronger, this was no life for her dear children to be brought up in, full of Charles' own brand of social darwinism where only the strong survived and the weak perished. She didn't want her dear Lelouch and Nunally to end up like the other children Charles had produced...like Schneizel or Guinevere. _

_It was six months later before she tried again taking refuge in Ashford Academy, a private school owned by a friend of hers._

_Quickly she ran down the stairs, Nunally clutched in her arms. Lelouch was at the bottom of the imposing staircase with what few belongings they had managed to take as they escaped the Britannian Estate in the dead of night only a week earlier._

_Lelouch looked on and watched horrified as his mother's face contorted in pain. _

_Bullets whizzed through the air and sliced through her thin body. __She collapsed midway down the stairs and Nunally was flung from her arms. __The toddlers tiny body rolled down a couple of cracking sounds were heard as her head made contact with the steps on the way down ending with sickening thud as __her fragile frame laid broken and bleeding at the bottom of the stairs, her small limbs bent in different directions._

_His mother was dead and his sister was blind and crippled - i__t was at that point that Lelouch vowed that he would destroy his father and all that he held dear no matter how long it took._

_But in the end they ended up back where they started, back in their fathers domineering arms. After that he'd been forced to live in the main house with his other half siblings and their mothers while Nunally was placed under the care of a private nurse named Sayoko. He hated it there, not only had they taken his beloved mother from him but now his sister as well. The only members of the family he'd managed to get along with were his older sisters Euphemia and Cornelia and older brother Clovis not that it was much comfort when there were 45 other children his father had managed to sire._

His eyes snapped open as he heard someone enter the room_._

"What do you want C.C?_" _Lelouch asked tiredly_._

"Weren't you going to see Nunally today? Anyway I'm going shopping with Ellie and then we're going out to Mulberry Street for dinner so you'll have to organise your own okay it's Tamaki's day off today" She told him as she spun around slowly showing off her outfit to her husband "So what do you think, dear?"

"Pizza again...how is it that you never become fat?" he wondered, his eyes gave the sleeveless black mini-dress accessorized with shoulder length gloves and Sergio Rossi suede over knee boots, now he knew where all his money went "I thought you said you said shopping?" he asked and raised his thin eyebrow.

"Yeah...I like to look my best, my dear Lelouch darling" C.C said deadpan.

"Urgh...you just love emptying my bank accounts..." he joked "Okay go on you wouldn't want to keep Miss Lubie waiting I'll see you when you get back" he stood up and grabbed his his red leather jacket "I'm going out" and kissed her on the cheek.

**TBC**


	6. Paranoia

**Thanks everyone of you who reviewed, feedback always makes for a better story**

**Anyway no it's not Shirley he's going to see but she is in it...god she is annoying! but really I was very cruel on her lol! **

**Crazy!Suzaku is back...well I should say ParanoidPsychotic!Suzaku from Ch1 is back, he's always fun! Yes Lulu and Suza-chan finally meet up yay!**

**Disclaimer: **Do Not Own...I Haz Nothing...lol**  
**

**Rambling  
**Chapter 6 Paranoia

Lelouch lent into turn a little more than he should have, sparks showered the road as the pedals of his motorbike scraped against the asphalt. He knew he should slow down a little after all sooner or later riding at 60 mph in a 30 zone would get the cops on his tail.

One day, he thought, that need for thrills and lack of normal fear responses would end up with him lying dead in a gutter somewhere but he just couldn't give it up, it was one of the few freedoms he had left in life.

Lelouch had left his house with plenty of time to get to Damocles Hospital in Santa Monica, which by now was probably already listed as his place of former employment, so he gradually slowed down as the number of vehicles around him increased.

On the near horizon a tall white multi-story building loomed completely out of scale with it's surroundings. He drove closer and and closer until he saw the turn off in the car park. As he steered at a snails pace around the lanes of flashy cars he sighed in relief lucky that his space handed already been given away.

With Avalon having more patients than Damocles as well as being further away he would have less and less time to spend with Nunally...maybe that is what Charles intended in the first place.

As he arrived in the pediatrics long term high care unit Cornelia spotted him "Lelouch, it's good to see you, how did your meeting with Schneizel go?" she asked as she walked along side.

"Schneizel's already contacted you Cornelia, he told me himself there's no need for this pointless charade" he said stopping out his little sister's room "I'll pack away my things before I leave today,if you could... please have a box by my desk I have a rather large number of things" he informed her before he knocked on the door and opened it.

"Big Brother!" an excited voice cried from the bed as he walked in "You're early today...did you have an argument with Mr Jeremiah again? You'll get into trouble Lelouch" Nunally chided him.

"No no I haven't I have something I need to talk to you about Nunally" Lelouch explained as he sat down next to her on the bed and held her much smaller hand "I won't be able to see you as much from now on okay...".

"But why? Is it something I've done?" she asked softly, her light brown curls falling over her blind purple eyes as her head lowered.

"No! You didn't do anything wrong Nunally, I'm being transferred to Avalon to work with _big brother_ Schneizel...I won't be working in the same hospital anymore that's all" he reassured her quickly hugging her tightly.

"Was it Father?" she whispered into his ear with her chin rested on his shoulder as they made sure they weren't being over heard.

"Most likely but don't worry I'll be fine and I'll have C.C come visit when I can't okay you know how much she loves to see you even if it does take time away from shopping" he joked quietly "and Big Brother Clovis will be there as well so there's no need to worry okay" he kissed her forehead and patted her on the head affectionately before he pulled back.

"Okay Lelouch I love you" Nunally murmured "I hope you have a good day and don't cause trouble for your new bosses" she laughed slightly.

"Ah...now now Nunally you know I would _never_ cause trouble, I'm a good boy after all" he said sarcastically, rubbing her hand in a soothing motion "Now be good for big sister Cornelia and Aunty Sayoko while I'm gone...I'm sure they'll take great care of you" he glared over at his former supervisor warningly where she stood outside "Bye I'll be back as soon as I can" he hugged her again.

**&&&**

Shirley sat at her desk as she filed records.

Lelouch hadn't come around as much lately and she was startly to think he might be have lost interest.

She sighed twirling her orange hair around her finger tip, even though it was a Friday afternoon she didn't get off until five and with no new admissions there was no paper work needed to be completed yet. There had been no new admissions mainly because her boss Lelouch hadn't come in to work today or yesterday.

Shirley quickly tried to look busy as she heard footsteps come around the corner.

"Good afternoon Mister Lamperouge" she greeted.

"Hello Shirley, I need you to send a letter out and call all my outpatients and inform them I won't be treating them as of today" he simply directed her monotonely and looked to her as if he was lost in thought "and organise the records on all the inpatients and send half of them to Doctor Guilford and, as much as I know it'll stroke his ego, the others to Doctor Gottwald okay" he picked up a cardboard box that had been placed next his door and walked through to his office.

Shirley watched him through the glass wall as he cleared out his desk placing each item into the box he put on his swivel chair.

As he took each one he stared at the object for a little bit almost sadly as he packed them - his more personal such as photo's of C.C and Nunally and the small print of that normally hung on the wall behind him but also the normal every day things like stationary, books and medical journals it looked like he was going away for a long time.

"Shirley" Lelouch called out "Can you come in for a second?" she stared up at him, he didn't seem any different now from any other time she was around him.

"Yes?" Shirley asked closing the door behind her.

"It's over" he stated bluntly.

"What? huh?" she was puzzled at what he was talking about.

"Our relationship, I've decided to no longer continue with" Lelouch clarified brushing some loose strands of hair out of his eyes and she couldn't help but think that's how he thought of her...a nuance.

"You're...breaking up...with me!" she stuttered her arms wrapped around her chest.

"Breaking up? Do not think of what we had as anything more than a fling...I was bored and you were convenient, there isn't anymore to it than that" he told her coldly as he picked up his things and opened the door "Oh and I don't need to tell you but I have filed your two week notice as of the 25th of this month you're fired, goodbye Miss Fenette, it was a pleasure working with you" and with that he just walked away calmly down the corridor.

As soon as he'd left Shirley's legs buckled under her as tears streamed down her face, she couldn't believe how she could have ever loved a man like that.

**&&&**

Monday was always Suzaku's most hated day even before he was placed in this prison.

He had been sitting in the Dining Hall at 0900hrs as the morning pills (_poison_) was forced down their throats during breakfast.

Nina the pharmacist had walked around handing out small cups of what they called medicine, words flashed in Suzaku's head as her observed her staring at him '_Traitorous... racist... lesbian bigot... whore'_ he thought hatefully, he'd seen how she'd looked at his Princess when dear Euphie was alive... the longing in her lingering gaze as Euphie would walk past pushing him on a gurney to take him to get treated for some fictional ailment one of the so called nurses had found.

"Hello good morning Su~za~ku-chan" Gino greeted cheerfully as he slid his arm over Suzaku's shoulder.

"Morning Gino" he simply replied slightly relieved that his ally at least appeared happy, that normally meant he wouldn't climb into Suzaku's bed for a couple of days depending on how long the good mood lasted out.

He looked down at the tasteless goop the enemy liked to classify as food, it was as unapetising as ever but he tried to eat it to keep his strength up...he'd already switched his plate with the person across from him so Suzaku was relatively certain it wasn't it wasn't poisoned.

"I heard a new doctor is starting here today"Gino chattered "Someone named Britannia"

Suzaku nearly choked...so what they had said last week was true.

"Really..." he tried to maintain his outward calm.

"Yeah he's going to be having a session with each of ward C so lets see that means You, Anya, Me, Roly Poly, Mr. Vampire, Monica, Nonette, Dorothea, Bismarck, Carine, Yoshitaka, Rai, Nemo and...Claudio I think that's all of us" Gino announced as he counted each name off on his fingers.

"You know Gino you didn't have to name everyone" Suzaku pointed out raising as eyebrow.

"I know but that expression on your face is so cute I just couldn't resist my dear Suzaku you're so cute I wish I could put you in a dress sometimes or a high school girl uniform..." he trailed off as he fantasized and a small trail of drool ran down his jaw.

Suzaku really didn't understand him sometimes.

He placed his plastic utensils down, he could only eat so much before he felt like throwing up. It was then that one of the _nurses_, 'Cecile' he thought her codename was, walked up to him holding a clipboard - if he'd learnt anything about this place the last two years he'd been imprisoned here it was nothing good ever came from clipboards.

"Mister Kururugi it's time for your session okay" she told him, god he hated how theSuzy always talked so condescendingly like they were talking to a small child and if it had been anyone else he would have stabbed her in the spleen with his plastic fork on the spot...he was still had the threat of Refrain hanging over his head though so he tried to resist the urge to destroy his enemy captors.

Suzaku stood up off the bench seemingly compliant with her commands and followed her outside into one of the doctors rooms.

"I am Doctor Lelouch Britannia but please call me Doctor Lamperouge...ah you are Suzaku Kururugi right?" the young raven haired man behind the desk asked while he leafed through a rather thick file.

"That's correct" Suzaku replied as he sat down on a chair as far away from him as possible in the tiny office.

"It seems Doctor Britannia was treating you before her death, you had fixated on her and incorporated her as part of your delusion" the doctor read from the notes "You believed that she was a princess in the Empire of Britannia and that you were her knight, that a group resisting Britannian rule called the Black Knights had captured you and imprisoned you here, but even so you continue your struggle against their leader Zero..."

"Yes though it is true, Euphie was a Princess...Zero murdered her" he said "as I have told the other so called doctors before I am not delusional or psychotic I just don't trust any of you"

"Well if that's the case why not just escape" 'Lelouch' questioned, his tone polite and non confrontational but Suzaku could see the look in his purple eyes, he was watching his body language like a hawk.

"What would be the point I would just end up back here, everyone has betrayed me so far and I wouldn't be able to on my own" Suzaku calmly lied with a slight smile on his lips '_Ok_' he thought '_I'll play your game_' "Even my guardian Tohdoh has gone over to the enemy" he made his face appear contorted in anger as he spoke and waited for a reaction.

"Really...have you tried? If you really believe you've been captured by these 'Black Knights' why wouldn't you have something planned for that inevitability" he argued jotting things down on a note pad in the illegible handwriting all doctors seem to have but Suzaku caught a few words here and there such as _...paranoid...schizoid personality...depressed...suspect a..._and he narrowed his eyes as he tried to read the last part but it just melted into a inkie blur.

"I don't know maybe I'm not _that_ paranoid..." he pondered and smirked under his hand as he rubbed his chin as if in deep thought.

"You stabbed a nurse in the stomach five times with fork two days after admission" Lelouch read out "as well as putting two of the orderlies in hospital with fractured skulls when you kicked them in the head repeatedly after one of them said 'hello' I think you've just learnt how to hide it better"

Suzaku put his hand over his heart "Oh you got me...you got me, such a smart doctor he is catching me out like that" he joked "Are we done yet? If we keep going like this how will we keep the excitement in the relationship eventually one of us will get bored and end up fucking a nurse"

The older man's eyes narrowed as if Suzaku had hit a nerve without knowing and stood up as if he was going to move towards him but only opened the door "Yes this session is over I'll see you next week, Cecile please take him back to his ward" he asked the nurse that had been standing in the hallway the whole time.

Suzaku just yawned '_1-0 to Kururugi_' he thought jokingly and walked out...who knew it would be so much fun.

**TBC**


	7. Observation

**A quick chapter this is really a lead up to the next one mhuahaha I just wanted to kick Rolo's scrawny ass! XD lol anyway thanks for the reviews and reading so far, who knew psychotic people could be so fun...****Gino was fun as well when he's not getting his rape on! ^_^**

**Anyway you can probably guess what's gonna happen next chapter lol!  
**

**Disclaimer: **Well I don't own Code Geass...that doesn't mean I can't fantasized!

**Rambling**  
Chapter 7 Observation

The week so far had been a relatively quiet one but strangely nice for Suzaku.

Gino's good mood had held out for three days so far and Kallen had visited with news that Naota was going to come see him when he returned from Kuwait.

Now if only he could get rid of his stalker problem...Rolo Haliburton had been watching him from a far ever since he'd brushed the kid off but it seemed like he was a persistent little fucktard.

He thought he was _so_ stealthy as he sneaked around following him. Rolo had not been behind him when he had turned around but Suzaku knew he was there...oh he knew!

"Su~za~ku-chan my darling! The awesomeness that is Gino is here!" Gino cried out as he glomped Suzaku from the side pushing them both to the floor with the momentum.

"Did you take something? You seem overly excited, even more than normal" he asked as he tried to pick himself of the hard floor.

"I didn't took those pills, I know Suzaku-chan warned me about them but that bitch Milly made me I hate her...she's not nearly as pretty as you my love" the blonde said and giggled "so pretty...we'd make wonderful babies"

Suzaku didn't really know what to say to that...if it were anyone else well lets just say there'd be a lot of cleaning involved.

"You should go back to your room Gino, in your condition you shouldn't be wandering around okay, what if Luciano caught you like this?" he told the taller boy and steered him back towards his room.

"Okay...Mr. Vampire might bite me, he sucks a lot and not just blood...he's not very good though I broke his leg yeah the first time he asked me hehehee so much fun" Gino whispered as he lent heavily on Suzaku for support and swayed all over the place like a drunkard.

"Just lay down Gino and have a nap hopefully it'll be out of your system by tomorrow" Suzaku said as he threw Gino down on his own bed. He looked around the room flat, he'd never been in anyone else's room before...he liked to conduct meetings with other _'patients'_ on on his own turf or at least neutral ground like the common room.

It was just white walls and black floors just like everywhere else in the building with a fluorescent light embedded in the ceiling and no windows, though the only room on the whole floor that actually had a window was the Art Therapy room, a single bed and small table bolt to the linoleum floor as well as a cupboard to store the few personal effects they were allowed to take in with them.

Suzaku sighed and ran his hand through his hair 'How boring...' he thought as he left to go do his normal routine of observing the enemy from his favourite chair until lunch then go talk to Anya.

Subconsciously though was really worried that he hadn't picked up Gino's condition sooner, he thought back over the last few days...there was something odd about how happy he'd been acting...so the enemy had been forcing him to actually take their poison instead of what he and Gino normally did which was just to push the pills up behind their top row of teeth and then spit them out once the _'nurses'_ had left.

As he turned his back to close the door Suzaku felt someone push him roughly against the wall and their body pressed into his back, '_a guy_' he thought jokingly '_from the thing pressed into the back of my thigh...though...can't be certain, he's so small' _the person bit into his shoulder hard as if to get his attention.

So his little stalker wants to play huh?

Suzaku spun himself around quickly but he was still pressed up against the wall without any real room for maneuver around him.

"Really Suzaku you should just stay still it will be easier for both of us" Rolo said his lips crushing Suzaku's in something closely resembling a kiss but ended up more like the younger boy was trying to eat his mouth and thrust his hand down Suzaku's pants as he tried to push them down.

Suzaku growled furiously kneeing Rolo in the groin with such a force the smaller boy was flung across the hallway cracking his head against a door frame.

"You think you can just take me you fucking little prick!" he screamed as he kicked him brutally over and over again not even giving Rolo a chance to defend himself "Bastard!Who even thought about giving you the right to live! Worthless fucking useless disgusting amoeba! Murderer!" blood started to coated Suzaku's knuckles but he continued to lay into the boy as he lay bleeding and unconscious...he was so angry now releasing all his pent up emotions most of which he didn't even remember having that he wasn't even sure he was yelling about Rolo anymore.

Suddenly someone ran up and tried to pull the brunette of him only to receive a elbow to the larynx for his troubles. More people ran up and pulled Suzaku off as he kicked and screamed and after they held onto his legs, clawed and bit as he tried desperately to escape.

"Hold him still" he heard a voice call out, Lelouch walked up holding a syringe, "I'm giving 1ml of haldol" Suzaku felt the needle pierce his arm and the chemicals pushed into his blood stream. Quickly he felt the effects as it sedated him, his eyes lids fell over his eyes and his musles slacked as he slipped into unconsciousness.

**TBC**


	8. Disassociation

**Gah! I changed the title for this chapter so many times lol so annoying! Just like Rolo...who I am not finished with just yet O.o yes he's still alive lol. It was quite hard writing this while listening to Disco Stick and Lollipop lol it was hard not to just put random sex. If Lulu and Suza-chan were going to get it on I think you can guess who would be on top (drool)!**

**Anyway later on in the chapter I know he has his eyes closed when this happens - it what called an extracampine hallucination ^.^ look it up if you wanna know more but that's what's happening to Suzaku.**

**Thanks everyone for the reviews!**

**I do try to update as quickly as possible, the end of term break is coming up in a week so I should be able to work on Rambling some more then. Short chapter is Short!  
**

**Disclaimer:** Non...Iie...Nein...Mhai...in other wards No... I don't own or have any affiliation with Code Geass.

**Rambling  
**Chapter 8 Disassociation

The sedative he'd been given had just fully worn off when he felt them attach the syringe driver to the I.V line, that had been placed in his right shoulder obviously when he was out. An acid green liquid he knew too well filled the syringe and was slowly being pushed into him through the intramuscular injection.

The last time this had been done to Suzaku he'd lain on the table for 12 hours.

Even though he knew what was happening Suzaku couldn't help but to panic when he found he couldn't move, one by one his muscles stopped responding to his commands as the paralysis traveled up his body until all he could do was breath and blink.

His breathes came out shallow and labored, sweat soaked into his hair and mouth over flowed with saliva, drool flowing down his chin and neck.

The orderlies rolled him on his side, if only to stop him drowning in his own spit.

Suzaku looked straight forward, his peridot green eyes staring blankly at the grey wall. He was cold now from the sweat that had soaked right through his thin cotton pants and his body shivered as it tried to maintain his right temperature.

He tried in vain to close his eyes...he knew sooner or later it would begin.

**&&&**

Lelouch had been looking over the patients' careplans and progress notes for the last hour...something wasn't right...he had read and reread Suzaku Kururugi's medical records and he kept coming up with something abbreviated as R2 on the charts but could not find the original reference to what it was.

_'4 times..._' he thought _'it must have been something strong...but over 2 years that's a lot for such a short period of time'_.

He tried to search the pharmacy database but nothing surfaced, he'd thought about giving up but he couldn't let something as trivial as this beat him...and what sort of doctor didn't know what his patient was taking.

Finally he'd found it after a manual search of the Pharmacy, with Nina's help of course.

"Refrain..." Lelouch read off the vile "a high grade sedative based on the chemical name" he needed more information and if there was one thing he hated most after his father is was not not knowing something.

**&&&**

Images swirled in front of his eyes.

Suzaku had laid on the cold metal bench unable to move now for 2 hours and his head felt like it was about to split open.

**_Suzaku what are you doing resting at a time like this? In the middle of the day...what would your father say_** a soft feminine voice whispered in his ear but he tried to ignore it.

'_Not real not real not real_' he chanted in his mind as he tried to block it out, pain was okay... he could deal with physical pain was nothing but to be put through this, this was true torture...this was why he had to escape even if he died trying and when he thought about sometimes maybe death was preferable.

Helpless...isolated...no one was coming and he couldn't even scream.

**_You are worthless! Your mother died because of you! Murderer!_** voices yelled echoed in his head.

Blood covered the walls, dripped down from the ceiling and the smell of smoke engulfed him.

**_Murderer! You killed your own father!_**

'_No...it was an accident_..._we were fighting_' Suzaku yelled mentally, his breathing sped up and his heart felt like it was about to explode.

_**He hated you...it was your idea to go that day...you should feel responsible...that's the reason your father's dead - he still hated you for killing your mom, it's not unreasonable, he swerved and hit oncoming traffic...**_

'_Euphie...you said it wasn't my fault...you said it was okay I didn't do anything wrong_' tears ran down Suzaku's face.

**Really? Everything is your fault Suzaku, if you hadn't killed her than father wouldn't have been angry at you in the first place...it was a chain of events where one set off the other don't you think?**

His eyes snapped open, he knew that voice...**  
**

**&&&**

On the 5th floor of the NAC Magazine building Diethard Reid yawned sleepily, he'd been working all day and well into the night. He had been stuck for a week now but still he couldn't find a story worthy of a front page, all his most reliable sources had dried up...least to say he was now very very desperate.

'_Heh..._' he thought tiredly '_the only way I'm gonna find a story at this rate is if one fell in my lap!_'. The deadline was in four weeks and if he didn't get moving soon his boss would have his ass for sure.

Out of the blue his phone rang "Hello" he answered pressing the handset between his shoulder and his ear while his fingers still tapped away at the keyboard in front of him and click clack sound echoed around the empty office.

"Diethard Reid...how would you like the scoop of a life time?" an unfamiliar voice asked from the other end.

**TBC**


	9. Resignation Part 1

**Okay a quiet one this chapter so far I split this chapter in two mainly because the way I'd planned it out it was very long and I needed to get this updated quicker...my internet has been down the last few of days and won't be back up until Thursday folks so I have to resort to using the school internet instead lol**

**Anyway thanks for the lovely reviews all of you!**

**- Now now Nameless that won't be until much later...eheheheh, and no it wasn't Euphie who was talking to Suzaku, this chapter might give you some clues as to who was talking to Diethard lol**

**Anyways here's part one!**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Code Geass...I don't own anything...but that doesn't mean you can have my organs!

**Rambling  
**Chapter 9 Resignation

~ Part 1 ~

It had now been 3 straight days that Suzaku had lain curled up on his bed.

He hadn't moved and made a sound since he'd come back from his punishment.

"Suzaku...please you have to eat something...please "Gino pleaded "at least say something! Fine if you won't get out of bed I'll just take you there myself" he grabbed Suzaku's left arm and pulled roughly on it dragging him on to the floor.

"Fuck off Gino" a strained whisper came from Suzaku as he lay limp.

"Get up" Gino ordered him and tugged on his arm some more "If you stay in here all the time the doctors' will probably think you're suicidal or something...now get the hell up or I'll fucking carry you there" he ran his other hand though his hair in frustration.

**&&&**

Lelouch sat at his desk having been relegated to paper work ever since his supervisor had caught him 'snooping around' as he had called it...though he still couldn't get the mystery of Refrain out of his mind.

With his official means blocked he would have to resort to less orthodox methods.

For one Suzaku Kururugi was his top priority...Lelouch had check his charts when he came in the morning after he'd been caught by Lloyd and seen the code R2 clearly written in small print amongst his regular treatments as if they had tried to hide it in plain sight.

Also with his level of exposure to the drug he would at least have a basic knowledge of it...enough to satisfy his curiosity for now, but first he wanted to be a little more prepared than their last encounter. If it had been anyone else he wouldn't have bothered but Lelouch had to admit Suzaku intrigued him...being so good looking also helped...not that Lelouch paid much attention to those sorts of things.

**&&&**

C.C had been feeding her pet finches when she'd heard a loud buzz from the door bell. She wasn't expecting anyone that day and Lelouch would still be at work at this time of day.

She watched the CCTV to see who it was that dared interrupt her peace and quiet. It was a pretty young woman about 20 years of age with orange hair.

'_So it's only her..._' C.C thought '_Well I guess I can help Lulu out this one time_' she smiled sadly '_What he doesn't know won't hurt him_'.

"Hello" she said as she opened the front door.

"I need to see Lulu! Now!" the girl demanded.

'_How dare that bitch call Lelouch that name..._' C.C thought, "Please come in, I'm sorry but Lelouch is not here at the moment but maybe I could leave a message for him? What did you want to talk to him about? "C.C invited her inside "By the way I didn't catch a name? You are?" She asked her with a friendly smile plastered on her lips.

"My names Shirley Fenette and I can't talk about it with anyone else...it's very personal..." Shirley replied as she sat down on the leather couch in the living room.

"That's okay there's a lot of things Lelouch can't talk about either...confidentiality and all that...so would you like anything while you wait, coffee? Tea? Soda?" the green haired woman offered her and then walked towards the kitchen.

"Yes...that would be nice, coffee would be ok thanks" Shirley accepted nervously.

A few minutes C.C came back into the room and set a tray of mugs and cups on the coffee table. "Do you take anything with your coffee I have milk and sugar of course" she said picking up a plain black mug from the tray.

"I shouldn't really, I've been trying to cut back" the redhead murmured and took the purple mug with a white dove painted on it.

"That's fine..." C.C stated and watched the other women take a slip of her drink "It won't matter anyway" her helpful smile had vanished replaced with a calculating stare.

"What? Urgh...eh!" Shirley started to feel drowsy and a second later fell hard onto the floor unconscious.

"You really thought Lelouch could ever hide something from me? I promised that day that I would be his shield...someone like you isn't going to ruin what I worked so hard to achieve" C.C said calmly and dragged Shirley's barely breathing body into a large canvas bag already half full of her out of season clothes.

After she'd cleaned up she'd rang their driver Rivalz and sweetly asked him to come help her with a rather large package that little old her couldn't lift by herself.

It didn't make any sense to him but he dropped her off at the deserted lake shore with the bag though only after she had reassured him that she would have help where she was going.

"God he's a moron...way too naive for a town like this" She thought out loud "Kind of like you" With the draw strings loosened from the bag C.C rolled Shirley out of it and laid her face down in the shallow water...it would take her only a few minutes in her condition to drown "You really were way more effort than you were worth but I can't have you hurting Lelouch...not yet anyway".

**&&&**

Kallen crossed her arms across her chest; she didn't like him one bit...though he seemed to have her cousin's interests in mind for once at least.

"So what can you tell me about Suzaku? There doesn't seem to be much history in his records" Lelouch asked seemingly politely.

"Suzaku doesn't like to talk about the past...he believes what happened to his parents was his fault" she replied a scowl still on her face...who the hell was this guy trying to fool with that fake smile.

"Really?" Lelouch commented "Please tell me about it then maybe I can help him, at the moment he doesn't seem to have an organic mental illness...I don't see why he's in an institution when it's just trauma".

"Ok just shut up...you're not fooling anyone with your Mr. Polite and Charming routine so just shove it, I only came here because you said you could help Suzaku" Kallen growled "Now can you help or not because if your only serving your own fucking agenda I'm leaving!"

Lelouch smirked, finally someone other than C.C that could see through his act...Ms Kouzuki was still to easy to manipulate which took some of the fun out of this game.

"I have no agenda...I'm just looking for more information to improve his treatment" he reassured her "There's a treatment he's on that I don't know anything about so I trying to see if I can get him off it, even though told me it was safe...I believe it's too dangerous being used so frequently" he gave her a slip of paper.

"What are you talking about I keep informed of all his treatments... what is this?" she asked shocked "Wouldn't they need consent before starting a new medication? Our uncle hasn't been to the hospital in over a year"

"Your right...I intend to find that out" Lelouch said though still puzzled "if his legal guardian is taking that little interest in his welfare I would suggest that he get another"

"Yeah right Tohdoh would never give up guardianship without a fight" she argued, she sighed and rubbed her face tiredly "I could never win against him" Kallen had looked at this logically, he had control of all the families money...she still had to work part time as a mechanic to make ends meat while she studied at college because her bastard father wouldn't pay a cent.

"It doesn't matter about finances..." he countered as if he'd read her mind "If he can be proven to be unfit he can be removed as Suzaku's guardian...and no I didn't read your mind you're just very predictable, now I have to get back to work see you again " he waved goodbye as he shrugged his white lab coat back on.

"Grrrr...How the hell did someone that infuriating ever get to be a doctor?" she fumed.

**&&&**

Suzaku was a coward...he knew that but he didn't want to have to fight anymore...and these people didn't deserve saving.

"You here me Zero! I'm not going to play by your rules anymore...I done playing your game" he whispered as he drew the sharpened piece of plastic cutlery across his wrist and stare at the burgundy blood that spilled from his veins.

Soon he began to feel light headed and as weak as a kitten even though he was still lying on his bed, white spots danced infront of his eyes making him feel sick.

"Come on Suzaku" Someone called out to him though it to him it sounded like it was travelling though water, his vision was blurred but he could still make out a pair of amethyst eyes staring down at him "You have to live!"

Wait! The Geass…Zero…it all made sense now…

**TBC**


	10. Resignation Part 2

**Heh heheheheh ^___^ sorry for the delay...gah this was hard to write!  
**

**All questions will be answered in due haste lol but really I think we all know Shirley is well and truly dead everyone!**

**Don't worry if nothing make's sense Nameless lol Suzaku's insane, he's using crazy psycho person logic! and about Tohdoh...eheheheh that will be explained later (...plot...) . . this is meant to be mystery...maybe...**

**Sorry Diana Prince...another cliff hanger lol I didn't mean to make C.C to seem so evil, she's just protecting what she hold's dear...maybe...or she wanted Shirley's shoes, I like her anyway ^.^**

**Disclaimer:** Come on! Would anyone really dare let me get my hands on Code Geass? I've been listening to 'Disturbia' on repeat for five hours now...while reading VK YAOI fics! Though Lelouch is so a vampire mhmmm vamp!Lelouch (drools)

**Rambling  
**Chapter 10 Resignation

~ Part 2 ~

Lelouch had just come back from his lunch break having talked with Kallen.

The information he'd gathered had been very useful indeed. He'd asked a nurse which room was Suzaku's...normally he'd have a nurse with him and conduct an interview in his office but he'd already in enough trouble with Lloyd at the moment. He couldn't afford for anyone knowing what he had planned. Lelouch knew Schneizel was watching...he was barely into his second week and already he was being singled out.

"I have to do this, it's the only thing I have to go on..." he told himself and shook his head.

Lelouch opened the door to Suzaku's room his grip on the door knob hesitant even if his worry didn't show on his face...he needed to know what was going on in this hospital, something just wasn't right here.

Suzaku also worried him, he suspected there was definitely abuse of some sort going on. Lelouch hated it when someone was picked on because they were smaller or weaker for whatever reason...people who did that were the weak one's in his eyes.

At first he'd believed the room to be empty and thought that maybe Suzaku had gone to dinner but as he was about to leave, out of the corner of his eye he spotted the hand that stuck out from behind the end of the bed.

"No...no..." Lelouch gasped as he ran over to the semi-conscious Suzaku who lay in a shallow pool of blood "Come on Suzaku!" he ordered him as he tried to put pressure on the wound to Suzaku's wrist and tried to keep what little blood that remained in the younger man's body from leaking out "You've have to Live!"he cried out to him as the brunette slipped into unconsciousness.

he raised his gashed arm up in the air to make the blood in his arm to go back towards his heart.

Lelouch checked Suzaku's pulse, it was slow and erratic and he wasn't breathing at all now "CODE BLUE!" he yelled out as he laid him on his back starting CPR. A nurse and an orderly came running in with trolley half a minute later just as he got Suzaku's lungs to work again.

"He's lost a lot of blood" he barked at them "Pulse slow, suffered respiratory arrest, breathing stable but shallow"

**&&&**

Suzaku woke up...now that was not meant to happen...

He tried to blink but his eyes felt like they were weighed down with bricks. He could feel the cotton sheets under his fingers and rush of air from the nasal cannula at the back of his throat.

His body felt like lead...just how long had he been out?

Suzaku wanted to yell...scream...that damn Geass...if it wasn't for that he would have escaped this damn prison! His memories from just before he blacked out started to come back to him quickly.

Finally he opened his green eyes and surveyed his limited view of the room.

How dare that bastard try to fool him! It was him all along! Killing his own sister...what kind of monster is he? Was there really someone who could be worse than himself?

He felt around the bed without moving, not that he could at the moment, and noticed that he wasn't restrained in anyway.

What morons!

Suzaku tried to move each of his muscles one by one to test their strength and slowly the blood supply started to go back to normal in his lower extremities.

He needed a plan...for once in his life, he thought as he spotted something that had been placed on top of the bed side cabinet...heh! That fucker won't know what the hell hit him!

**&&&**

It had been a week and so far Suzaku was still in a coma.

Lelouch was worried...what if there was brain damage from the hypoxia. He couldn't help but to start to feel something akin to sympathy for his patient.

He had brought Lloyd with him to assess if Suzaku should be moved back to their ward or left in Recovery.

They turned the corner towards his room, Lloyd's overly polished shoes squeaking with every step on the black linoleum.

Lloyd closed the door behind him as they stepped inside Suzaku's room...that's when they heard the metallic click.

**&&&**

Suzaku waited until the two doctors had shut the door behind them before he relieved his position.

"You thought you could fool me, hey Lelouch?" he accused, pointing the gun in his hand at the doctor's head, a paranoid gleam in his eyes as they darted warily over them.

"Just calm down! ok...please just put the gun down" Lelouch asked his hand slowly reaching for what looked like his coat pocket.

_BAM!_

"AHHHHHH!" Lloyd screamed out in pain and fell to the floor, blood gushed from his right shoulder soaking into his white coat and shirt.

"One more move like that and it'll be the neck instead" Suzaku warned them, the barrel of the gun shook a little as his right hand twitched slightly.

"Okay okay I don't have anything" he said and held his hands up showing them to be empty "Now please let leave he needs help"

_Let the prick die that bastard enabler..._

_No he isn't involved...this is between you and Zero..._

"He can leave but you're fucking staying right here bastard!" he ordered Lelouch angrily.

"I'm not going anywhere..." Lelouch replied keeping his hands raised "Lloyd can you move?" he asked softly.

"...sure...just bleeding a bit...extreme pain...nothing to worry about" his boss answered him sarcastically "Really who's ever heard of dying from a gunshot wound?" he slowly crawled outside leaving a trail of blood behind him.

_Kill him..._

One voice whispered.

_He's not Zero...Suzaku...leave him alone..._

He heard Euphie's voice whispered cry loudly even over the cacophony of thundering voices screaming out in his head_._

"No...he had the Geass...I was sure...his eyes, there the same as Zero's...I don't understand what you want me to do!" he yelled covering his ears with his hands, the grip of the gun handle pressed hard against his ear "I don't understand! You said he was the one!"

"Suzaku! Put it down" Lelouch tried to tell him, he knew there was only two options that could happen in this sort of situation and neither of them were pretty. Slowly he started to step forward without being noticed.

Suzaku pushed the mussel against the back of his head. He was confused with all the conflicting orders he was receiving, his head felt like he was being cracked open with a rusty axe.

Suzaku pulled hard on the trigger and time slowed down for what felt like a second before the crack echoed around the room.

"No!" someone let out a panicked scream, Lelouch didn't know if it was him or one of the staff that had come running upon having heard the shot ring out through the air either he ran over...he wasn't going to let all the hard work he'd done go to waste.

**TBC  
**


	11. Purely Hypothetical

**Thanks to all those who reviewed! **

**I know what you folks thought about the whole gun thing last chapter but hopefully this will kind of explain it...  
**

**Oh how I love Schneizel lol!**

**You all thought Rolo was gone kukukukuku XD **

**For those of you who have been waiting patiently for some 'action' (wink wink) - not much but I finally deliver!**

**Disclaimer:** No I don't own anything...do you really think any own would allow this on TV?

**Rambling**  
Chapter 11 Purely Hypothetical

Lelouch stared at the scans of Suzaku's cranium, he'd been studying them to check for any damage from the bullet wound. It had been a couple of days since the shooting but he wanted to make sure nothing had been over looked, which was something that seemed to happen an awful lot in this hospital.

Fortunately the bullet had missed his brain entirely.

'_What the hell is going on with you Suzaku?_' he thought rubbing his face tiredly, there was no point trying to work when he was this worn out he had other patients to worry about as well...but there was something about Kururugi that drew him in...it wasn't just his looks though he was pleasing to look at...there was something about that actually made Lelouch want to care when he knew he shouldn't.

"Awwww!" he yawned loudly and swung his feet of the desk "I'm not going to get anymore work done tonight...I'll check them again in the morning..." he mumbled to himself not exactly excited at the prospect of going home to an empty house and microwave food after an 11 hour shift.

**&&&**

C.C had sat at the all hours cafe for half an hour now waiting for her father.

"Sorry to inconvenience you my dear Cecilia"he said as he sat down in the wooden chair across from her "I was detained by some pencil pushers from the FDA".

"You're not sorry...what do you want to talk about at this hour that couldn't be said over the phone V.V"she asked and sipped on her double espresso slowly.

"I do wish you'd stop calling me that Cecilia, I'm your father you should address me as such"he ordered her sternly.

"I will when you start acting like one Vivian" C.C replied calmly "I have done everything as you requested, the girl is dead...what more do you want from me Britannia will fall even if I do nothing at all"

"Do you really think you could live without my money... you will be free I promise that but until then you will do as I say, understood" V.V commanded gripping her wrist painfully.

**&&&**

It was at least three days from when he'd shot himself, he knew that much.

Suzaku felt groggy but the pain was gone from his head for once. Surprisingly that doctor was back...what was his name...oh yeah Lelouch Lamperouge, that's what he called himself.

"It doesn't appear that you've hit anything, you have a fractured skull at the most" he announced.

"Wow...I normally have a much better aim" Suzaku said blandly, he'd been placed in one of the padded rooms.

"You seem better" Lelouch mused "They changed you're anti-depressants, how are they working?" he noted things down on his clipboard.

"Just fine, the poison's just fine, I'm completely happy as long as I don't get pumped full of Refrain" he said a fake smile plastered on his young face.

"That's good" he replied his voice monotone, for some reason it made Suzaku want to smash that perfect mask of his and do something to elicit a response from the doctor. He smirked suddenly a plan forming in his head.

Quickly Suzaku stood up and launch himself at him making the clipboard go flying across the room. He straddled his waist and pressed his soft lips firmly against Lelouch's passionately.

Lelouch pushed him off though he hesitated slightly "Are you quite down?" he asked his voice a little shaky as he picked himself up of the floor and retrieved his notes.

Suzaku just smiled, happy that he spooked him...the way he'd hesitated you'd have thought Lelouch had liked or something.

**&&&**

Schneizel's plan had failed...he should have just done it himself instead of relying on circumstances lining up conveniently.

"I'm sorry Sir, he took the bait like you said but something caused him to not shoot the target" Rolo reported.

He had planned this scenario out from the beginning even before hiring Lelouch, he knew of Kururugi's propensity for violence and frequent hallucinations.

Schneizel had had Rolo place the gun in Suzaku's hospital room knowing what had occurred between him and Lelouch before. Rolo had been very helpful indeed watching the boy so dilligently over the last few weeks.

"Oh well there will be other opportunities" the blonde man said " after you leave have Kanon come into my office...You are dismissed"

**&&&  
**

Lelouch knew it! Damn it! He knew he had missed something big on the scans.

On the scan it showed a dark shadow on the top of Suzaku's brain, a 10cm long lesion along both his right Frontal and Temporal lobes.

He checked the scans taken when Suzaku was admitted, they were all clean.

Lelouch coughed a bit, he'd been down in the records room for an hour since and he had been looking for anything to distract him from that kiss...those soft smooth lips against his own...no! he had to stop thinking about it, he was Kururugi's doctor after all even if he wanted to he couldn't do anything about it at the moment...not that he wanted to!

Suddenly his cell phone started ringing _The end of the century...I said my goodbyes...For what it's worth...I always aim please...But I nearly died! _

He flipped it open "What do you want?" he said annoyed more at himself than the caller.

"Lelouch Britannia?" the man on the other end asked.

"It's Lamperouge but yes, now tell me what the hell this is about or I'm hanging up" Lelouch replied not in the mood to continue with his usual politeness.

"I'm from NAC Magazine...my name is Diethard Reid and I'm calling about a story I'm researching...do you by any chance know of an experimental drug called Refrain?" The man questioned.

**TBC**


End file.
